by Dianne Guevara
I know that saving your first, or next, kiss for marriage may sound crazy but here are seven powerful reasons to consider taking on that promise.
7 – It Combats Our Current Culture’s Terrible Example Of Love And Sex
A friend of mine shared that she recently attended a Miley Cyrus concert. At one point during the concert Miley told the crowd to kiss whomever they were with… especially if it was someone they “liked.” A mass amount of people begin kissing, some possibly kissing strangers, simply because they were told to. Once upon a time, if a boy had feelings for a girl he would get to know her, court for awhile, and nervously anticipate the day when he could muster up enough courage to lean in for that special first kiss. Now it is very common for people to share a kiss as if it had no real significance. Your lips are a part of your body and your body is beautifully created by God for a purpose. Your lips are precious! Don’t be swayed by our culture into giving up your kiss to someone who is not willing to work for it. It’s time that we elevated the value of our kiss back to something extremely special to be saved for someone equally as special.
6 – It Serves As A Great Deterrent
Several years ago I got myself into a bad relationship. I had not set standards or expressed my expectations at the start of the relationship. I allowed this guy to pull me from my friends, family and church involvement. On the day I thought I would be meeting his family, I was instead led to his bedroom where he showed me his true intentions. Later on I realized that a person never ends up at the end of a bridge without taking the first steps onto that bridge. Although kissing can certainly be something good, innocent and beautiful, it can also be the “first step” of a very dangerous bridge. Is your kiss a simple sign of your affection for the one you love or does your kiss always lead you to want to do more? A passionate kiss should lead you to want more. That is part of the design of our bodies. Why invite temptation into your relationship if you are trying to get rid of it? Saving your first kiss is a great way to avoid unnecessary temptation.
5 – Sacrifice Leads To Holiness
I am not saying that you should save your kiss out of fear. I am also not telling you that you are incapable of kissing without allowing it to lead to anything else. Don’t save your kiss out of fear of sin. Save your kiss out of a desire to be like Christ and enter into holy sacrifice. Everyone knows that losing weight or getting in shape requires sacrifice. Sometimes it involves a lot of sacrifice. One must sacrifice delicious and unhealthy foods as well as comfort to achieve their goal. However, we know, and believe, that the pain of exercise will strengthen our body so we are willing to take it on. It is no different with our spiritual lives. Sacrificing your kiss, especially when in a committed relationship, is like working out instead of eating a triple chocolate Oreo cheesecake. Train yourself through discipline and sacrifice and you will exercise control over your desires. Then if you are ever placed in temptation you will have the strength and perseverance to choose what is right.
4 – It Is A Great Gift To Your Future Spouse
Imagine the joy of one day meeting your future spouse. There is no greater gift that you can give that person than your self. Saving your kiss for your future spouse is the ultimate gift of sacrificial love and it just might change his, or her, life. Don’t worry if you’ve already made mistakes. Through Christ we can always be raised and become new again. I had already had several relationships and sadly given away many kisses before I made the conviction to save my “next” first kiss until marriage. When I made that promise it was because I recognized what a beautiful sign my kiss was meant to be and I wanted to save it for my spouse because of how precious it was. If you have “lost” your virginity, or innocence, it can be regained by offering your future spouse your next kiss. When Marcus and I kissed on the altar for the first time it had been years since I had kissed someone. I had completely forgotten what it felt like so it felt like my very first kiss all over again. It felt innocent.
3 – It Can Reveal a Persons True Intentions
I was in college when I made my promise to save my kiss until marriage. After doing so, there were several guys who expressed interest in pursuing a relationship with me. Time and time again I hoped that one of these men would be my Knight in Shining Armor. However, when I would tell them that I had promised to save my next kiss for marriage they would either try to convince me to break my promise or I would never hear from them again. As much as it hurt initially my promise was a true blessing. It allowed me to see, from the very beginning, their true intentions and saved me from much worse pain. None of these men were willing to take on the challenge and prove that they were worthy my kiss. However, I did finally find the one person worthy of my kiss. It was the one person was willing to wait for it.
2 – It Makes Your Fairy Tale Love Story A Reality
What do you desire in a spouse? I desired a holy, virtuous, and hard-working man who would love me sacrificially. I always wanted this even since I was a little girl. Every little girl dreams of their romantic happily-ever-after with their Knight who will fight to the death to protect her and win her heart. So how do we find such men (because they do still exist)? Well for starters, we need to give men a challenge. We need to challenge, and encourage, them to be the Knight’s they are capable of becoming. When we set low standards for ourselves we set ourselves up for disaster. If someone wants to pursue you and you set your price at five dollars then they will stop pursuing you after they have met that payment. If you choose to save your kiss for marriage that’s like setting your price tag at one million dollars.
1 – Because You Are #WorthTheWait
Let’s get straight to the point. Kissing is good. It is not bad or sinful. God attached pleasure to kissing on purpose so He obviously meant for us to enjoy it. However, He also gave us hearts to know when we are being authentically loved and when we are being used for momentary pleasure. So which would you prefer? Do you want to share your precious kiss with someone you may be with for a few weeks, months or years, or do you want to find the one person willing to sacrifice anything for you because they believe that you are worth the wait? It’s quite simple. We all want that fairy tale love story that God promised us but real love stories require real sacrifice. Don’t settle. You are worth the wait.